Best Week Ever |
- Dear 16-Year-Old Me = The Reverse “It Gets Better” Campaign
- Cinco Videos of Animals Celebrating Cinco De Mayo
- Kristen Wiig Retires Her Two Most Hated Characters
- FINALLY: A Direct Answer About Sh*tting In Space
- 10 Excellent Titles For The Upcoming “Raven” Movie
- Dwayne Johnson Dubs May 2nd “Osama Dead Laden” Day
- Re: Your Transforming Zombie-Proof House Inquiries
- Wow, Barbra Streisand Looks Terrible.
- Randy Rainbow’s Royal Wedding Gift Is A Treasure
- “Kittens Can Talk!” Ideal For Fans Of Both Cats And LSD
- David Hasselhoff Helps Launch Nickelodeon Land In England For No Apparent Reason
- CAPTION THIS: Spider-Man Is Bad At Cabs
| Dear 16-Year-Old Me = The Reverse “It Gets Better” Campaign Posted: 05 May 2011 08:18 AM PDT This Canadian PSA for skin cancer awareness sends a powerful message about what it means to be an adult, reflecting on the past and realizing there’s so much you needed to say before it was too late. It features a cast of survivors openly addressing themselves when they were 16, and it’s pretty inspirational. And while it’s 5 minutes long, but kind of hard to tear yourself away from, thanks especially to the very hot guy who is a part of it. Take a look: This campaign is sort of like the reverse “It Gets Better” campaign for cancer awareness. Like, “Hey kids! Enjoy your lives while you still have it, because eventually you will succumb to the single disease taking away more lives than anything else.” It’s a powerful PSA certainly, and has made me especially paranoid about moles on the soles of my feet. Though let’s face it: If you find a mole on your tongue, get that sh*t CHECKED OUT YOU GUYS. While we have your depressed attention, you should probably also read this: Derek Miller, who passed away from cancer at 41 wrote a post-mortem blog piece. Warning: You will cry at work, but it’s a moving read and should not be ignored. In conclusion: Kiss your loved ones and stay healthy.  |
| Cinco Videos of Animals Celebrating Cinco De Mayo Posted: 05 May 2011 08:03 AM PDT Happy Cinco de Mayo! As my ever-loving gift to you, while you take tequila shots on this beautiful Jueves, here are five videos of animals celebrating Cinco de Mayo or performing Cinco de Mayo-related activities to get you through your day. You can thank me in exactly Margarita dollars. 5. Let’s start with an old Internet favorite — Carrie, the merengue-dancing dog! Not even gonna lie, when I see this little m-fers fragile dog hips start to shake, it does something for me… 4. While I would never never advocate the taunting of cats with laser pointers, I could maaaayyybeee advocate it for a special occasion — such as the special occasion of having said cat dance around a sombrero while playing “Mexican Who will be Numero Tres through Uno? Find out after the jump!
2. Speaking of “Hat Dance,” sometimes all you really need is for a cockatiel to serenade you with a true Mexican classic, unless you’re this other cockatiel. 1. Ah, who are we kidding? It’s Carrie again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  |
| Kristen Wiig Retires Her Two Most Hated Characters Posted: 05 May 2011 05:25 AM PDT
Kristen Wiig has announced that she’s retiring her “beloved” characters Penelope and Gilly from Saturday Night Live, instantly breaking the hearts of the two people who found Penelope and Gilly entertaining. Namely, Penelope and Gilly. So, will you miss these two characters?? Personally, I love Wiig but haaaated Gilly, so I am very happy to see her go. And while Penelope had its moments, we won’t be missing her. “Sorry.” Considering Wiig is one of the most talented ladies on TV (after Paula Deen) hopefully this means Kristen can introduce us to some refreshingly new characters, such as this incredibly old character from her Groundlings days:  |
| FINALLY: A Direct Answer About Sh*tting In Space Posted: 04 May 2011 04:48 PM PDT It’s appalling how long we all had to wait for this. NASA knows we’ve always wanted to know, and for them to withhold this information until now is criminal. “You didn’t ask!” NASA will say. OF COURSE WE DIDN’T ASK!! We are living in a society! And, frankly, our fear of their response being “You mean you don’t know?” and our ensuing humiliation was just too great to overcome. We silently yearned to know, and NASA wallowed in that silence, smug with their privileged knowledge of how to hygienically sh*t in space. They are sick — all of those Astronauts, they are sick. Now, let’s each go off to our own private place and sate all of our basest space-sh*t curiosities. From National Geographic’s Known Universe: So, now we know. What a relief, what an enormous weight lifted. This unbelievable lightness… It feels almost as if… this must be what it’s like after you sh*t in space.  |
| 10 Excellent Titles For The Upcoming “Raven” Movie Posted: 04 May 2011 02:08 PM PDT
The movie version of the Edgar Allan Poe classic “The Raven” has discarded its working title of “The Raven” and is currently being referred to as “The Untitled Raven Project.” In the vain hopes that Hollywood actually not f**k up a title for once, if they really don’t want to just call the movie “The Raven”, we’ve come up with this list of 10 Even Better Titles For The Upcoming “Raven” Movie (feel free to leave your own in the comments):
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| Dwayne Johnson Dubs May 2nd “Osama Dead Laden” Day Posted: 04 May 2011 12:34 PM PDT
Here’s Disney trailer star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson thanking our U.S. servicemen and women in the aftermath of the Bin Laden raid and dubbing May 2nd — his birthday — as “Osama Dead Laden Day”. I echo the gratitude, but two quick points in response: 1. That is a very clunky name for a holiday. 2. He is really, really jacked. I’m glad he was a professional wrestler, because if he hadn’t been, I’d be like, “why wasn’t this dude a professional wrestler?” Watch the video after the jump:
Maybe he should spend less time thanking Marines and more time thanking his AUDIO PEOPLE. Kidding! Too late I’m already dead cool seeya!  |
| Re: Your Transforming Zombie-Proof House Inquiries Posted: 04 May 2011 12:41 PM PDT Thank you for contacting us in regards to your interest in purchasing a transforming zombie-proof house. We are happy to tell you that we were able to locate a home that very specifically fits your requirements. Please review the photos below while we get some preliminary paper work drawn up for you. Regular Mode:
While we were at first skeptical that it would be possible to fulfill your specification that the house have “only one entrance located on the second floor after crossing a drawbridge,” it turns out, as you can see here, that this home will in fact fit those parameters when in Zombie Mode. We strongly recommend you click here to read more information. You will be quite happy with the details. BWE Real Estate looks forward to finalizing this deal with you. -BWE Real Estate (Thanks to All That Is Interesting for the story and to @Ashfrieds for the tip.)  |
| Wow, Barbra Streisand Looks Terrible. Posted: 04 May 2011 12:10 PM PDT |
| Randy Rainbow’s Royal Wedding Gift Is A Treasure Posted: 04 May 2011 08:53 AM PDT That Randy Rainbow is a national treasure is something we’ve already shared with you time and time again. But now it seems our little angel has grown international wins and learned to fly. Randy was invited to the Royal Wedding! Here, he recaps his time spent with the Royal Family with phone calls to Kate Middleton, The Queen (spoiler: We mean THE QUEEN), Vicky Beckham, Fergie, and THE PRINCE WILLIAM HIMSELF. You know we don’t like to ruin Randy’s video with too many words, so just here. Just, watch. Our only request next time: More music please. We need a 20 minute singing and dance number released to the Imax theaters next round.  |
| “Kittens Can Talk!” Ideal For Fans Of Both Cats And LSD Posted: 04 May 2011 12:19 PM PDT As much as I love animals, specifically cats (yes, I’m that girl I don’t care), I’ve never adopted one. Mainly because I’m afraid every time I’d look at it I’d hear Sarah McLachlan‘s “Angel” playing on an endless loop in my head, which translates loosely into me slowly walking into the ocean forever. Also, they ruin furniture. And that fur! No. On a related note, I’ve also never done acid, mostly because I’m afraid if I tried it I’d end up having this exact hallucination of a high-pitched Sarah McLachlan singing “Angel” set to fire and weird kaleidoscopes. I have no interest in watching a goat tap dance over my grave, which will deffffinitely happen if I drop acid. All that said, this video from the Humane Society makes me want to adopt an adorable kitty and do acid, at the same time, so it’s win-win-win-win-win-win all around! Thanks to JFCass for the tip!  |
| David Hasselhoff Helps Launch Nickelodeon Land In England For No Apparent Reason Posted: 04 May 2011 10:54 AM PDT Nickelodeon opened a theme park in Blackpool, England today. David Hasselhoff was there to help launch it. Why? BECAUSE KIDS LOVE DAVID HASSELHOFF!!!!
What is going on here? We can only assume there was some sort of situation like at the end of Ghostbusters with the Stay Puft Marshmallow monster. Presumably, Nickelodeon was told by an evil spirit to “chose the form” of their promoter, and the head guy couldn’t help having David Hasselhoff enter his mind. “You have chosen.” The evil spirit then said. “What did you just do?!?” all of Nickelodeon yelled at the head guy. “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there!” he responded. And just like that, David Hasselhoff appeared as the nightmarish celebrity promoter for a British children’s amusement park. Who do you think is more disappointed in themselves: David Hasselhoff or Nickelodeon? It’s a close call.
Thanks, Splash News.  |
| CAPTION THIS: Spider-Man Is Bad At Cabs Posted: 04 May 2011 10:07 AM PDT
- “You might wanna look away for a sec while I grab my wallet.” - Spider-Man Musical attempts to improve safety by having the actor sit outside the cab when it explodes. - “Nah, I’m not the guy from Spider-Man 3 but I do get that a lot.” - Noah adds: Spider-Man fails to fit entire cab in butthole Think you can do better? (Hint: you can!) Caption away in the comments. (pic via Splash News)  |
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